Will you blow on my dice?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
She bit a glass in half.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
