Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
