you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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