Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You are a booty call, not a friend.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
