At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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