Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
