All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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