it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Sext me about skeletons
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
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