My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Randomize
