i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize