Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize