yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
We need to rekindle our bromance
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
