So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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