Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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