Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
