Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
