Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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