Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
