I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Ladies don't puke and tell
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
