the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
