Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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