Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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