it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
