Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
