..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
