Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
as a side note pls kill me
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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