I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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