If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
