As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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