either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
