the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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