My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Randomize
