Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize