Someone shit on the floor
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
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i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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