we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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