me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
