i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
