I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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