Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
