I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
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I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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