he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
