their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
