For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
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Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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