Grow some girl-balls and come out already
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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