how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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