at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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