You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize