i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
