Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
