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• (810): View more from Michigan

  When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.

  (1-810): View more from Michigan

  that probably didn't help your case.

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.

  (1-913): View more from Kansas

  You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.

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• (818): View more from California

  I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.

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• (365): View more from

  I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.

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• (318): View more from Louisiana

  Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.

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• (212): View more from New York

  how are things with the new girl?

  (917): View more from New York City

  good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (417): View more from Missouri

  You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.

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• (713): View more from Texas

  The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.

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