It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Randomize
