Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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