I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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