I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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