he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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